The other day I was made to feel really uncomfortable at work. And I couldn't do a thing about it. Where I work isn't really of any consequence to this piece, because I imagine this kind of thing has the potential to happen everywhere that you, as a member of staff, interact with the general public. But, for arguments sake, let's just say I work in a public facing role, at an attraction in the UK. Let me also say that this isn't something that I've ever encountered before - and I interact with scores of customers on a daily basis - so this is arguably something of an 'isolated incident', but, in my opinion, that doesn't make it any less worth talking about.
Picture the scene: there I was, sat at my till, minding my own business, when a guy comes up and asks me for a table for four. I don't work at a restaurant, or anything of the sort, so this request was nothing short of ridiculous. Perhaps a weak attempt at humour? I didn't laugh. I inquired as to whether or not this was his intention, and he informed me it was. Too bad it wasn't funny. The man then told me in a somewhat arrogant tone that he was 'waiting for some friends' who could allow him free entry - something I hadn't been made prior aware of, so I treated it with due caution.
The man continued to hang around my till, to a point that put me on edge - it's definitely worth saying here that I was in no way 'alone' with the man in the room, I had several colleagues working on the opposite side of it, but I still felt uneasy to the extent that I might as well have been alone. Which probably says it all. He then proceeded to make incredibly inappropriate jokes with the help of his friend, something that made me further uncomfortable. Making sexual jokes in front of a girl half your age and expecting her to join in? Alright then.
I can only imagine that his game was one of intimidation - I'm a 22 year old girl, but I definitely look younger, perhaps even as young as 16 - and I'm pretty sure he was hoping that I'd allow him and his friends in for free, probably by making me feel so uncomfortable that I'd do it just to get them away from me. To be honest, at that point that was all I wanted.
Mercifully, he trudged off to the corner of the room, where he and his friends lingered. Eventually, I overheard a snippet of their conversation - a cocksure "I'll get us in", just before he sauntered towards me. He proceeded to bear over me, flashing me his driving license, and attempting to coerce me in hushed tones to allow him complimentary entry. Perhaps he thought he was being 'charming'? If so, he was sorely mistaken.
This was essentially the final straw. I was through with feeling awkward - I just felt incensed. When did it become acceptable for a grown man to use intimidation tactics against a girl less than half his age? When did it become alright to harass someone in so public and subtle a way, that it's not something that you can even properly pinpoint until after the event? When did it become ok to make someone feel so uncomfortable that they're considering breaking the rules in order to just put an end the situation? And when did it become alright to employ these tactics when the chosen target is completely unable to speak out, because they're at work, and talking back to a 'customer' could get them in really big trouble/sacked?
There were many things I would have liked to have said to the man, of course I said none of them, because I wasn't in a position to. A fact that he knew, and doubtless why he did it. You'll also be pleased to know that I didn't let him in for free - I wasn't about to bow to that kind of intimidation.
I'm not really sure why I'm sharing this, perhaps because I for one am sick of the subtle harassment we all have to endure on a daily basis. Arguably, this incident is barely even reportable given that I was never actually propositioned or threatened, but I'd like to know where the line becomes blurry. When does something go from 'joking around' to 'intimidation' or 'harassment'? It seems to me, a lot sooner than you might initially think...
